alis volat propriis.

second time around.

2011-03-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

One day we will have a 'bridal' shoot. Maybe for our year anniversary.
One day we will have cute lovey photos taken.
I will not be on my period.
I will not have a cs.
I will love my hair.
I will not feel fat.

There will be a red balloon.

Things did not go the way I wish the could have,
it will be better the second time around.

kool-aid.

2010-07-31T23:13:00.000-07:00

so, recently spencer and i decided to re-watch all the seasons of the office. apparently i had missed most of season three. who knew?

anyway, all this to say kevin is, hands down, my favorite (other than pj&j of coarse - that is pam beasly & jim for those non-watchers, or for those who don't remember that correlation that kevin made).

this is kevin's kool-aid man face.

this picture alone will guarantee to make my day whenever it is less than desirable. words can't even describe. i am laughing as i type this. here's a clip of where this face makes its appearance.

treehouse.

2010-07-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

First, go here.

Then, watch this.

Make-A-Wish is amazing!

engaged.

2010-06-05T20:56:00.001-07:00

click here for some entertainment.

list.

2010-01-30T14:29:00.001-08:00

2010 Birthday List by heatherthebird

2010.

2010-01-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

That was weird to type.

So my one and only resolution was to blog more. And how many blogs did I write in 2009?

14.

Out of 365 days. Yikes.

Better luck this year? Let's not get our hopes up...

dear santa.

2009-11-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

A two-thousand and nine Christmas list by Heather Bird.

(In no particular order) - you can click on most images for more info! I'm so tech savvy!

1.) Home

4. Boots. Such as this one and/or this one. Size 9.

5. Foolproof Heather gift

(Target & Walmart & Forever 21 are preferred - because they have them in OK too...)

6. Smelly goodies. Some favorite scents include Christmas, non-floral, and Clinique.

7. Scarves

8. Earrings - click here for examples!

9. Movies: Away We Go, Amelie, Dead Poet's Society, Up, and of coarse this:

and this...

10. Anything that is unique and/or lovely that I would like : )

11. *Bonus! 600 Polaroid Film (if you can get your hands on some - you would be my favorite!)

12. Oh, and of coarse,

Well, there's some ideas... not saying you have to get me a gift. But for those who inquire, I now have somewhere to direct you : )

Sometime I'll use this thing for something that matters and tell you about life. But for now, I'll just leave you with some words from Bruce Springsteen. “We're a long, long way from home. Home's a long, long way from us.”

break.

2009-07-19T21:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I have a lot I would like to say but am not in the blogging type of mood.

I just wanted to share one quick thought with you.

Today is Sunday.

On Thursday I get to go to California for a wedding and see him.

...and that makes me happy.

internship

2009-06-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

June 5, 2009

Friends, Family, Countrymen, anyone reading this!

I would like to invite you to be a part of my life as of right now. Here’s what has happened - I have just finished my fourth year of college at Cascade College. If you are not familiar with it, I must regretfully inform you that it closed its doors this year. This was a big deal and I could talk about it for days but that’s not the point of this letter. Being that I am on the “five-year plan” for my higher education I have to transfer to another school and that school is none other than Cascade’s sister school of Oklahoma Christian University – all the way across the country. While it scares me that I could possibly get taken up in a tornado I am remaining optimistic about the whole situation. My plans that I’ve made thus far in life haven’t really gone my way and things have turned out for the better. I am telling myself this is just another one of those things. God works in crazy ways so I have faith that this is just another journey I must go on and I am okay with that. I am finding out I am a rambler. – forgive me for the tangents.

I am writing to share with you a fantastic opportunity that God has placed before me, and to ask you to join me with this great work. I have been invited to come back as an intern this summer with the PUMP (Portland Urban Ministry Project) Church of Christ. PUMP is a church and a non-profit whose mission is to minister to the children and families of Northeast Portland, Oregon. I will be primarily working with the PUMP summer program (PSP). What is PSP you ask? Please let me share – it is a six-week program for community children, focusing on strengthening children’s minds, as well as their spiritual life with a daily reading program and Bible-based mentoring and education.

If you are thinking, “didn’t she do this last summer?” you would be correct. The PUMP internship was not supposed to be on the agenda last summer but previous summer plans ended to say the least (this is where another long tangent could be made). PUMP was a blessing from God and I have no doubt that everything that happened last summer was for a reason. PSP and PUMP have become dear to my heart. I have learned that you do not have to have some degree or lots of money to be Jesus to someone; you just have to love people. There were a few children that were extra dear to my heart. One was Brandyn, he was such a ball of energy and you could tell he needed one-on-one care. This is why I loved reading groups; I was able to just read with him and be a part of his life and give him the attention he craved. He was just one face in the sea of smiles that awaits you everyday of the summer program. PSP is a great outlet for me to use my spiritual gifts and I look forward to this summer and how it will be enriching to me and everyone involved.

In order to minister at PUMP this summer, I am encouraged to raise $3000 by July 1st. These funds will be used to cover any expense incurred this summer such as housing, meals, and travel. I am also trying to save whatever I can as I will be graduating next spring. I hate nothing more than asking money from people, but donating to my internship is a chance to be a part of a great ministry that many do not have a chance to participate in. If you so choose to, please make all tax-deducible checks payable to PUMP Church of Christ and mail them to:

PUMP Church of Christ
c\o Heather Bird Internship
PO Box 11510
Portland, OR 97211

I ask that you pray for the PUMP church and the children who will be touched PUMP this summer. Pray that God will work through the hearts of the staff and interns and change these children’s lives in His name. If you have any questions or want more information, please do not hesitate to contact the PUMP staff or me personally! Please send your email address with your check if you would like to receive email updates about my internship. Thank you so much for your financial and prayer support. May God bless you as you serve Him today.

awkward.

2009-05-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

Family photos.

We've all had them, we've all hated them and laugh at them later but THIS tops it off.

Just go here: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com

praise.

2009-03-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Have you ever just re-fallen in love with a song? I have so much to catch up on...and a spring break blog will come...eventually. Until then, go listen to your favorite worship album. Don't have one? Might I suggest OC Supertones Fatih of a Child? It's just... my favorite.

pictorals.

2009-02-08T23:22:00.001-08:00

One Friend,

Two Friend,

Red Friend,

Blue Friend.

Here are some photos to entertain you for like 15 seconds. You're welcome.

this is when sarah and i were really bored during christmas break- we dressed up as hookers. awesome.

these are my lovely asian officers. you don't need to know anymore than that ;)

spencer and i at broomball.

this is super old school. i found it in yearbook archives. little freshmen friends eating before service from the start. (jack, alleson, me, justin, spencer, billie jo, hutch) so funny, haha.

isuck.

2009-02-08T22:50:00.000-08:00

So, my only resolution was to blog more and therefore I felt the need to blog even if I have a test tomorrow morning, a harder test later in the week and a philosophy paper due as well. Sounds like the perfect time to blog! It is, however, my birthday tomorrow so that's fun. Except I feel like it might be stressfull because nothing will be planned and nothing will be agreed upon with people I would spend time with...well see I guess. Hmm, what has been happening lately?

Well, the most recent thing that happened was Winter Formal. Cascade's version of prom but we don't dance because it makes babies. Duh. The theme was A Red Carpet Affair, which was suppose to be like an awards show...I think it came out alright...I mean I did rent a red carpet. Can I just say woohoo it's over! I like it and all but I could pass on the whole having to help plan it. Here are some pictures from the night, it's mostly me and Spencer. I have become horrible at taking photos with people, I think about it before I go somewhere and then I forget when the moment presents itself. Also, the only thing I really want is a good photo of us but that has not happened yet...sigh. It's really the story of my life. Anyway, here you go...

savannah and me

these gals make up part of our 2005 pledge class

senior deltas, that's hott stuff right there.

lovely officers

the whole delta gang.

who knows...

this was my favorite of the night.

almost normal. well, this is normal for us i suppose.

i have no idea but my face is quite amusing.

bathroom photo with the gals.

the place.

2009-01-13T22:40:00.001-08:00

there is this place,
where things that are lost go.

they vanish right under your face,
wherever it is we will never know.

they are things we miss and need,
if only we could find a lead -

to guide us to our possessions that have left without a trace,
and gone to this mysterious place.

(Okay, so poems aren't my forte. Whatever)

Really though, have you ever lost something and you don't know where it went? Of coarse you have lost the socks in the dryer - that is a given. But it goes so far beyond that. Jack and myself made a list of things gone missing just in the past four years. It's not right. Where is this place? I want my stuff back!

Missing:

- Heather's American flag tank top
- Heather's black jeans
- Two pairs of Jack's glasses
- Heather's laptop (yeah - a freaking computer!!)
- Jack's tye-dye Lambda shirt
- Heather's cute Levi's bag (probably with the laptop)
- Jack's A White Christmas
- Heather's Season Four of F*R*I*E*N*D*S
- Jack's Huckleberry Finn
- Jack's Belle & Sebastian CD
- Countless unmentionables
- Jack's original Arizona library card
- Heather's corduroy coat
- Heather's NYPD sweatshirt
- Heather's fairy wings
- Heather's Victoria, BC jacket
- Jack's book She's Come Undone
- Jack's grandma's pug
- Spoons.

Have any of your belongings gone to this stupid place?

s u r v e y .

2009-01-13T19:48:00.000-08:00

Ten things you wish you could say to ten different people right now (don't list names)

1. I want you to go away. Just go.

2. I wish you had your heart set on more Godly things rather than things that won't matter in the end. But I still love you a whole bunch.

3. You make me feel better about myself.

4. I think you need to grow up and search really hard for what you think is good for you and then just freaking do it and don't hold back.

5. I . L O V E . Y O U . so much you could never really know how much.

6. I wish you weren't so.... you.

7. I wish you would grow up. I think then you would be fantastic.

8. I feel sick inside when I think about what my life would be like if you weren't in it.

9. Thank you. For everything. I love you even though I don't act like it.

10. I don't want you to come to my wedding.

Nine things about yourself.

1. I don't get a lot people.

2. I like potatoes. A lot.

3. All that I've wanted I now have (for the most part...)

4. I love to sing but the thought of doing it in front of others make me want to pee my pants.

5. I just really want braces.

6. I hold really good grudges...

7. I'm less afraid of the future then I was a month ago.

8. I LOVE the rain.

9. I can make a clover with my tongue.

Eight ways to win your heart.

1. Bear hug me.

2. Say I am beautiful when I look like a mess.

3. Give me a red gerbera daisy :)

4. Let me just be with you and not have to say anything.

5. Send me letters.

6. Sing in my ear.

7. Encourage and help me to be a better person.

8. Pray. With me. For me.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. Love

2. School

3. Oklahoma

4. Death

5. Money

6. Deltas.

7. Future.

Six things you wish you never did.

1. Not study for the SAT until the night before.

2. Waited until college to do stuff on my own.

3. Quit the violin.

4. Spent so much money on nothing.

5. Stayed up that extra hour.

6. Ate all those 2,473,075,305,974,572 donuts in seventh grade.

Five turn offs.

1. Drinking

2. Smoking

3. Those who lack respect.

4. Wretched smelling folk, even when freshly showered...

5. Guys who are just.... stupid.

Four turn-ons.

1. Humorous.

2. Loves children and a bonus if he's good with them.

3. A great smile and laugh.

4. Smells amazing...mmm, man.

Three smileys that describe your life.

1. ; )

2. :)

3. : P

Two things you want to do before you die.

1. Have children and a family of my own.

2. Travel. Like, with a passport. Destination: World.

One confession.

1. I knew what I wanted and needed a long time ago...I just had to be patient and then one day God blessed me with it.

snow.

2009-01-07T19:11:00.001-08:00

This is Sean trying to free Ben's van after Ben's cheap Walmart chains broke and thus made the van stuck. We borrowed a shovel from the neighbor.

This used to be the Delta fountain...now it's just a snow/ice blob.

Merry Christmas, Cascade.

This is my postcard picture : )

The poor tree that fell down...

Someone thought themselves to be clever and put a "for sale" sign by the Cascade sign.

There was far too much snow this Christmas. A white Christmas sounds all lovely and such until it turns into the ARCTIC BLAST 08. Well, Christmas break consisted of me staying on campus in my warm dorm room and well, surfing the internet. Spencer downloaded something on the computer called Stumble which is pretty nifty and kept me entertained far more than it should have. Only download if you dare... the program/site/whatever it is lets you mark off areas of interest and then when you click the "stumble" button on your browser, you are taken to a random website that is related to one of your interests. It's pretty cool but far too addicting.

Basically, I decided to stay here for break so I could have Christmas with my family since I was in Manteca with Spencer's for Thanksgiving. However, Christmas was just one day out of this break that seems to have no end... so was it worth it? I'm still trying to figure that out. Sean stayed in Portland over break as well so he came with me to my aunt's for Christmas and met some of the family. Pretty much everyone thought he was my boyfriend so that was awkward. I didn't really get presents but my mom took me shopping a couple weeks prior and we sort of count that as her presents to me - that's what we've done the last few years.

My mom beating Sean at cards.

Me and the cousin. Hooray product placement.

As far as my dorm room, we we're prepared for Christmas as soon as I came back from Thanksgiving break. We pretty much just had a....eclectic tree and some stockings. But it was fun nonetheless. One night Jack and I watched (don't quote me on the order) Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Elf...I think that's all. It was a Christmas movie bonanza! Good times indeed. Speaking of movies, I tried to make an effort to watch only movies I own (or at least have been in my suite all semester) that I have yet to see. The list included A Wonderful Life (I know, I suck at life...), Finding Neverland, Wicker Park (Josh Hartnett is a S C U M bag. I wanted to punch the movie if that's even possible) and I think there was another one...or two. Oh well. Oh! Toys and Benny and Joon. Whew. That's was a close one.

This is when Ben & Kristina were hanging around trying to get a flight out of here after many many change of flight plans... but look at our stockings and tree! It has a top hat and sunglasses!

This is my homemade snowman aka an ikea lamp : )

Also, Sarah taught me how to crochet. I pretty much sucked at first and after two...strands? (I don't know crochet terminology) I decided it was better if the wannabe scarf ended...so I started completely over. I'm about a third done and it's not looking too shabby so yay me.

There's some more adventures in there I know but we'll leave it at that for now. Enjoy all the pictorals, eh?

flyleaf.

2009-01-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I am really bad at finding good bands but while on Thanksgiving break at Spencer's we were watching music videos and this song came on. It's a song from Flyleaf entitled "I'm alive". I really liked it. The video was mesmorizing. Then, today Sarah showed me some cool feature on itunes that allows you to create a play list off of one song. Well, I did and this was on the play list and I was just reminded how much I liked it. So I thought I would share. Enjoy now.

My hands are searching for you

My arms are outstretched towards you

I feel you on my fingertips

My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being

Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me

And you whisper you love me

And I begin to fade

Into our secret place

The music makes me sway

The angels singing say we are alone with you

I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry

The light is white

And I see you

I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand I give it to you

Now you own me, all I am

You said you would never leave me

I believe you, I believe

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healed

2009.

2009-01-02T20:45:00.001-08:00

Dang, this is my third blog this year and it's only the second day! Well, this post is really just to say what I just said...so with that being said, my (realistic) New Year's Resolution is to blog more.

Period.

The End.

On the sidewalk near Hawthorne...or Belmont...I think.

boyfriend.

2009-01-02T20:22:00.000-08:00

In case any of you were curious...

Name: Spencer Valadez
Age: 21
Hometown: Manteca, CA
Previous relationship to Heather: best friend
Dating since: Nov.2 (this is a good way for them both to remember)
Reason for dating now as opposed to 4 years ago: inquire with Spencer. Heather isn't sure.
Cute couple photo: This is the best I got, sorry it's blurry

any other questions? bring it.

r a n d o m .

2009-01-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the fact this post is completely random but I felt compelled to share some photos along with some stories with you. Actually, they are in fact, NOT random in that they all have to do with my life. So there. A common thread for those who need it.

We start at the beginning-ish of Witness tour. This is me standing on a rock. This is a very funny and ironic photo as there was a song I sang entitled "Stand on the Rock". Get it?

This is a photo of my third grade group I had for the duration of PSP. Although they were a bit rambunctious at times and the largest group, I loved having them. They're cute, loud and rarely well behaved - but you gotta love 'em.

Here is a video that comes from our Finale program - where parents are invited to see what they're children have been doing and what they have learned during their time at PSP. This was a fan - kid - youth group - intern - favorite, especially when led by intern Jessie. No one pulls off that good ol' southern pastor voice like she does...

I'm sorry, I really don't have any nice transitions... this particular blog is for those with A.D.H.D.

Fast forward to school... last year, a great project called the Wishing Well Project was brought to Cascade. Basically you make art, sell it, use the money to build wells in Africa so they can have clean water. You can click here for more information about Wishing Well. These are a few things I have made for the project.

Now for some of the things I have done this semester...

Race for the Cure with my Delta sisters

I taught Amanda how to play Chess on the most epic board ever. This took place during East County's Retreat that was mentioned in a blog a little while back...

Next: Halloween-ish time

Kingsmen/Delta ***** party

[note: we don't ***** because it makes babies]

This is Kyle, he was Jack Bauer and I was, well, America.

Here I am with a cave woman, Rosie and the Brooke-doll*, who I dressed up as a flower.

*Brooke-doll: a substitute given to the ladies of Delta Sigma Rho while the real Brooke Aus was away in Vienna for study abroad.

Here Kyle is doing the chicken dance because well, Spencer was a chicken. I have no other words for this. Who knew in like less than a week from this picture, I would be dating this chicken...

For the Halloween party at school, Jack and I went as Wayne and Garth. We also towed around GH guitars. We were pretty much awesome.

I think it's time we ended this crazy-make-no-sense-post. But this is what I've been doing this semester..hope you have enjoyed this glimpse into the world of Heather.

strength.

2008-10-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wing's as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31

This is a song that is recently becoming popular in my world lately -a Chris Tomlin original- but is playing through my head lately.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God You reign forever
Our hope, Our strong deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint, You won't grow weary

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God You reign forever
Our hope, Our strong deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint, You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

Our God You reign forever
Our hope, Our strong deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint, You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

God, You are everlasting

As many of you now know, Cascade is supposidly closing its doors for good. I do not say this in certaintly because my mind and my heart won't allow me to. It might take a long time before I accept it, if I ever do. With all of this I still feel a sense of peace. I don't understand it. I am at such a weird position. I have roughly a year of school left, that in all reality should be finished at OC but here's the thing. We serve a God that is greater than we can imagine. I can't get to that next part until I know that I have done all I can to settle the things in my heart, which is what is now being called "The Movement". Basically, we are going to save Cascade. Plans are being made, we are pleading with God and lastly, we are not giving up Hope. Call us crazy, or unrealistic. I dare you. It's nothing that hasn't been said already in the almost two days we've had to begin to digest this news. Cascade is not dead. It never will be - so stop saying it. It might be that we don't attend it as a school and we aren't all together but it is not dead. Cascade isn't a building. It is the people. It is the burning passion that lies within our hearts. It will live on. In the meantime, I will join and fight the best I know how to keep this institution alive and running. I wish I was a writer and could just slow down and articulate my thoughts in a better way.

My best friend is leading this movement, whether he wants to or not. He's doing it because God has placed that on him, or so that is how it seems. I hope you get to read what he wrote, and I wish that I could tell him face-to-face how proud I am to be called his friend. (I guess I'll have to deal with that when or if he reads this...) There in him lies great potential for God to do some amazing things. I don't know much of anything really, but I know that God does not put such things in your heart that you are this passionate about for no reason.

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…" -Psalm 37:5-7

On a completely different note, today I was given some life changing news that is not my own to discuss at the moment but nonetheless, I will ask for your prayers in this situation. It really put things into perspective about Cascade and is making me realize what truly matters in this life.

God loves me.

Jesus died for me.

I can have hope in the ressurection.

I will leave you with one more verse. I wish I could say that I just knew it, but I am not the one who has The Word down by memory. I'm that person that googles versus they need to hear and read. It works, God leads me to what I need to hear in one form or another.

Dear friends, don't be surprised by the fiery troubles that are coming in order to test you. Don't feel as though something strange is happening to you, but be happy as you share Christ's sufferings. Then you will also be full of joy when he appears again in his glory. -I Peter 4:12-13

This is an image that I randomly found a few months ago that I love.
"There is always hope."

time.

2008-10-27T18:53:00.000-07:00

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.

weekend.

2008-10-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

yes, this ladybug has his little hands in the air like he just doesn't care

This weekend was just what I needed. Nothing as far as school work was accomplished but my mind and soul were given a much needed refreshment. I, along with Darcy, Amanda, Dane' and Natalie, spent the weekend at Eagle Fern Camp at East County's annual retreat to watch their kiddos.

I have to give credit where credit is due. All these photos you'll see are from the eyes of Amanda... photos from yours truly and Darcy will come...in due time. Another thing, everything I knew about Jesus, about my faith - it all started with East County. They are and will always be my family. However, sometimes God calls you to be away from your family and that is why I am not really attending there presently. He wants me somewhere else (I think it's because I stayed so close for school - you have to have some seperation when you "go off to college"). However, never will I forget how good it is to go back somewhere and know you are home. That is one of the many things I got from this weeked. A weekend with my family I haven't spent that much time with. It was just comfirmed that I am still loved. And missed. And a part of something really special. I should consider myself quite lucky. I have two church families when some people find it hard to obtain one. Going back to your roots is something we all do- just in different ways.

I also got to see our missionaries, Ben and Kym Langford (and their two precious boys, Elijah and Noah) and that was a blessing in itself. Even though I do not voice it (along with many other things) they are great inspirations and blessings and very dear to my heart. I see Jesus through them. Spending time with their boys is something I will cherish since they are usually worlds away. Not to mention all the little children I got to enjoy this weekend. I am beginning to see that I am quite fond of children and think they are part of where God wants me be. With them-showing them Jesus and more importantly, seeing Jesus through them.

This weekend was also amazing in the fact that I got to see God's beauty in its finest. In nature, in my friends, in my family. The camp we went to is stunning. I've been there before for the the church retreat and also way before in high school for choir retreats but never before has it seemed this breathtaking. The autumn colors were so vibrant and alive that it was impossible to not be in love with it. I played in leaves. And not just any leaves. Leaves that are bigger than my face. I got to be a child again.

I think there was more that I wanted to talk about but some of my suitemates just arrived home and I lost whatever blogging momentum I had. Sorry, blame them.

Until next time :)

lyrics.

2008-10-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

"I shall never grow up
Make believe is much to fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow
This place is so lovely
It kind of makes me very happy
Lets go far away to the humming meadow"

this is from an eisley song. if you haven't ever listened to them i suggest you do. they just have beautiful harmonies. i wished i was blessed with the gift to write music and lyrics. them always seem to say things i cannot, perhaps that's why i love when i find something that just speaks what my heart wants to.

i had an amazing weekend. i'll inform you more about it when i get photos from amanda, everything's better with photos :)

blogging.

2008-10-14T13:23:00.001-07:00

(This is for my new love of peacock feathers.)

Blogging. It's not my forte. When I actually get around to doing it, I can't figure out the best way to go about it. I feel like I have to catch you up on every detail of my life and I just can't do that in words - so come ask me. Also, I always feel so random and that my thoughts aren't connected. Well, guess what folks - that's how my brain works most of the time...

So, to get you all a bit up to date...

Summer was a m a z i n g . I wouldn't have had it any other way. I fell in love with like 70 kids and they showed be a glimse of what it is like to be Jesus to people. I met new friends, new faces and grew closer to those I knew going into it. I love PUMP. I love PSP. There's a new special place in my heart that's been filled that frankly I didn't know was empty. I now love going to church. It's about more than seeing friends - it's about seeing Jesus.

School is already taking over most of my life...but in a good way I suppose. I'm not taking too big of a class load, but I am, however, taking a class from each part of my IDS (psych, business, comm) which I have never done before. Variety. I like it. Deltas is going swimmingly - I say that as I knock on wood... Our pledge class was a bit smaller than normal - 10 - but my new sisters are pretty swell if I do say so myself. I love being a Delta. I just do. That's all I can say to explain it :o)

It's strange. I actually like my classes this semester. I can apply them to my life as of right now. It's crazy. Who would have thought, right? Something else that's on my mind right now is Witness...auditions are coming up I can feel it...my mom is constantly pestering me to audition and I don't really know what to do with it. I really enjoy singing and touring for the little bit was fun, but is that what I want? Is that what God wants for me? I have no clue. I do know that I need scholarships and it comes with a nice one but is that a reason to do something? I don't know. Just pray for that situation. Whatever that means. I have been giving some things to God and he is taking care of things and I want this to be something I can give Him as well. (Strange, the issues that are hard for me to give up are the ones that keep me stressing...)

I don't even know where I'm going with this....so I'm going to end it.

There you have it. My life in a little teeny nut shell.

A peak into the life of Heather.

2008-08-31T00:51:00.000-07:00

A much needed update . . .

2008-07-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

As many of you may or may not have heard, my summer plans have changed quite a lot. Many of you know that I had been selected for Cascade's singing group, Witness. Traveling and doing that was the plan for five weeks. After, oh - about a week, we hit some turbulence and some things had to change and to make a long complicated story far too short - it was decided that we were going to end tour. (I'll write the long version when I can articulate it better and have more time). Sometimes I think we shoudln't have called it off, but more of me sees that God had a better plan for my summer.

I should let you know that Witness was something I had put on the back burners earlier in the school year and I was thinking about doing what I am doing now - PUMP internship [more about this later]. But I had a chance to get on the Witness bandwagon and so I did, which meant I would not be able to do the PUMP internship because the two overlapped.

Well, as it turned out, as we were ending our tour, the day we would be getting back to Portland was the day before the PUMP internship began. God's timing or what? I think so. The last few days of tour were spent making phone calls and finding out if this could be something I would still have the opportunity to do. I soon found out that it was a go!

I was very confused with what God was telling me through all this but I think I figured it out [for the most part]. Witness was something I wanted to be a part of for a long while now and it had appeared that my chances of that were gone. I had tried out three times and struck out each time. So that was the end of that - I had come to terms with it. I then had my eyes set out on this PUMP internship. Then what do you know, a place in Wintess opened up and I had the chance to be in it. It took a bit of persuading but I chose that over PUMP because I knew, if anything, I could do PUMP next summer. However, as you can see, God had other plans. I think I was in Witness the short amount of time that I was to show me that this could be something I would want to do and just shouldn't give up with (in regaurds to trying out in future years) but this was not THE year. Things would not have been the best, or even close to the best, that they could have been had we stayed on tour. God did, however, end the whole Witness hoorah just in time for be to still be able to do the internship. Fate? I think not. I have complete faith that He had a plan and it is still being revealed to me. I love it.

So... now to bring you up to date...

This is about the third week of PSP (Pump Summer Program) and the fourth of being an intern. It's crazy and hectic but oh so fun at the same time. The intern and coordinators get along so well and we all are here for a reason that is for sure. If you're not sure what PUMP is I encourage you to check out their website http://pumpchurch.org/. Basically, PUMP is a mission church, ministering to the children and families of Northeast Portland, Or. Along with serving in the church family, I am working with the summer program (PSP), which is a 6-week program for community children. It focuses on strenthening children's minds, as well as their spiritual life with a daily reading program and Bible-based mentoring and education.

In order to minister at PUMP this summer, I was encouraged to rasie $3000 dollars. These funds are to basically replace the money I would be making if I had a summer job. The intership does give a stipend but not really enough for me to save any for this upcoming school year. Seeing as I didn't really have time to fund raise, this is why you are hearing about it so late.

If you could help me out on this endeavor, it would be much appreciated.
You can make all tax-deductible checks to PUMP Church of Christ and mail them to:

PUMP Church of Christ
C/O Heather Bird Internship
PO Box 15510
Portland, OR 97211

Your prayers would also me much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope God is blessing your hot summer days! :)

Donkey.

2008-02-22T00:12:00.001-08:00

Ass. It's one of my favorite words to say, not the best choice of words but nobody's perfect. I'm so sick of people right now. Mostly just certain ones, not necessarily the whole lot of them. I think I have found a label for these types of "friends". I say it in quotes because that is how we classify them but they do not act as they should in the least. This new term I have come to know is called "Silence of Critique". Basically, it's when you accept your friends. For instance, you don't just critique your friends, you let them speak - even if you don't agree with them (gasp!) or you don't really like what they are saying (bigger gasp!). It means you don't have to call out your friends. With this, you have more incentive to keep their mouth shut. Some can turn this around and be like, well you should be able to tell your friends everything even the bad things. But it's different, the way I see it. It's different. I can't explain it. Yes, you should tell your friends what you think and your opinions, but there is a time and a place, and that time and place shouldn't be one where they feel belittled or attacked. It's about respect, for me. I hope I am making some sense.

True friends don't do this, and I know it's just some research, but I really like the idea.
Anyways, I have realized that that is what is happening to me. Some "friends" totally do not do this. It's the complete opposite. Like, all the effing time. And I can't stand it. And I want to scream. And then the anger overflows to nearby friends - real friends - and then I feel like an ass for treating them like that. I have also come to the realization that I am pretty good at this "silence of critique" thing. (I'm ever so glad there is now a title for it) I can think of one case in particular, but that need not be shared. I don't always agree with what some of my friends say, but who am I to critique and discourage what they say to other people - in front of other people? Knowing that I try to practice this makes me feel good though, because it is what I see as a quality of a good friend and it's something I do. If you're saying, "yeah right, Heather," or you're wanting to call me a hypocrite, I am not clarifying myself about how I see this. And I'm sorry for that.

Oh, and why, please tell me why, there are those people who have to discharge to oppose every ferping thing that you say? Why is it that they choose the "opposing" side, if you will, with every topic under the sun?? Why? Please. I would like to know.

But yeah, that's the stress and new revelations in my life.

Sorry if that doesn't make much sense, I really just wanted to vent and share this new thing I learned about. Well, it's not new, but now I have a name for it.

Well, here goes.

2008-02-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

So, I have become one of those people I said I'd never be. Those who talk all this talk but walk no walk. . . yeah. My whole plan of living off campus and going to PCC has kind of flopped. I think it's what God wanted though. Like. . . I prayed for signs of what to do and they were given. First, Micah backed out for a reason I won't go into, and then something else happened I also don't need to go into, but it was enough to really make me stop and say, "hey, I think God's telling me something". With different things just coming up, and still doing so, I feel pretty confident in the decisions I am making.

Something else that happened that I wouldn't have had the opportunity to do if I went to PCC, was become the new member to Witness. Yep. It just happened that a spot opened up and they had closed auditions. . . and well, as they say it, the rest was history. Crazy. I'm really excited about it and at the same time, scared out of my mind - seeing as I have never even had a solo or anything like that - and we have a performance in like, two weeks. Dear Lord, I am so scared. I'll live though. . . I suppose. But yeah, between that, and my yearbook scholarship and other ones I have, I should have around $8500 without government money so that's exciting.

But yeah, I really should be writing a paper right now for friendship comm. but here I am, talking to you. I really should be in the JC "running" the Superbowl party, but I'm in my room. Meh. Oh, and Tom Petty is pretty cool. Just thought you should know that. I better go, I just wanted to catch you up with the story of my oh so amazing life.

Oh! And Across the Universe comes out Tuesday. . . and my birthday is Saturday. Fate? I think so. If people just donate a dollar to the cause, I could have my very own copy :)

SO this is me and some ponies. Their names are Spencer and Sean. There are reasons.....there is also no reason for this photo. You're welcome.

varsheentun: part II

2008-01-04T22:41:00.001-08:00

Sorry for the photos being all wacky. I'm still new to this so shut your face.

This was our day in the snow! I can't remember which day it was exactly, I must be losing my mind - it was last week! Oh well. We went to Billie Jo's dad's best friend's house. (That's a lot of ownership right there) Anywho, it was real fun. We played in the snow, ate a lot of now, went sledding, saw some elk. I think it was elk. Meh, some big animal thing. . . sorry I don't have pictures of it all, I need to get some from Billie Jo's dad.
(Who's really cute and little - that's for you, Swheeler)

Big Pimpin'

Self timers. . .

. . .don't really work out too well :)

The gals, reunited (and it feels so good) haha.

What's a trip without getting preggers ;)

The best dog. . .EVER, Heidi.

This is the people's house. Not even right. . .right?

Goodbye snow :(

varsheentun.

2008-01-04T21:26:00.000-08:00

Well, here I sit at my desk. . . back at school. Bah. Since there is not much to do, with both roommates gone for the time being, I figure I should make this good ol' Washington blog while I can.

Christmas break is rearing towards its end and my it has gone fast! The first week I was pleasantly surprised with a random wireless connection. But that got a bit redundant after, oh, 5 days. :) I did the whole Christmas thing and by the time I was home for like, a week, I was ready to get the heck out of there. So, I rode up with Jeff [Edmonds] to Kent, Washington to stay at Billie Jo's house for the remaining break. Jack was staying with her too and Sarah lives in Kent as well so it was just a big ol' reunion of sorts!

I'm really just going to talk about four days:

- Seattle
- Canada
- Snow
- New Years

So, the day after I got there we decided to go to Seattle.

Our main goal was to go to the Seattle Public Library. Billie Jo and Jeff had never been there and boy, it is an architect's dream. I love it. It's one of the most beautiful buildings I've seen, let alone, been in. It's crazy big, has super skinny neon escalators, a super cool kids room, a red. . . basement? Whatever it is, it's just really swell. Here are some pictures even though I could not do it justice.

This is the red basement type place. For fellow red lovers, like myself, it's lovely. These are the stairs leading into the redness. . .

Cool, yea? I must warn you, I was going picture crazy. . .

This thing was real weird. It's a window and on the other side is the neon escalator. But inside the window are eggs with moving pictures. It's interesting, but the fun part is that you can spy on people and creep them out. Not like we do that or anything. . .

I was super parched after climbing the mountains, er, hills that Seattle is so infamous for. Luckily, Jack was there with her water bottle to save the day.

this is the crazy neon escalator. . .

Whoever designed this library is a Saint in the math world, or something like that.

This is what you can see from the highest point you can go. . .

We thought it would be funny if Jeff were to lay down in the carpet grass.

This is us waiting for Jeff to hurry down. . .

There he is lying down chilaxin'. Then they lady came and asked him if was okay. Haha.

Next onto the Children's part of the library. I really liked the ceiling. . .

Come on, who doesn't love a tree growing out of the wall?

Jeff and the Hat.

They had crazy squishy ottoman things to sit on. . . or play games on.

Basically, I just really love this library. If ever you are in Seattle, you must go and venture on in. Also, the outside is just as amazing, seen here in the latter of the two photos.

Also, while in Seattle, I hit rock bottom.

I am far too funny.

After the library, we went walkin'. . . because that's what you do.

We couldn't help ourselves. . . [this is my nutcracker face]

This concludes the Seattle portion of this blog. Thank you for reading, you should comment so I know you did :)

O Christmas Tree...

2007-12-23T00:08:00.000-08:00

So, tonight, the roommates and myself decided to meander downtown. I'd thought I'd let you know about it =)

It started of by Kelsey coming to get me and then we went to her house to wait for Ashli to get there. In the meantime, her parents were watching some movie. . . the only part I recall was someone getting stabbed in the neck with scissors. Yeah. . . but it ended up being a dream? Meh, that's why you don't just watch the ends of movies.

I found out that Kelsey's grandma has a picture of me on the beach (actually, the one used for my little profile photo) hung on her wall. Haha, I'm art.

So then Ash gets there and we head to Lloyd Center to hop on the Max. We get off at Pioneer Square. Our main objective was to see the ginormous tree and take photos. So we do the whole photo thing. . . here are some:

And here's the humdinger. . . the hugest tree ever (that's not in a forest, according to me)

We tried to get some couple to take a polariod of us. . . and being older you would think the guy would know how to work it but no; it ended up off centered and no tree in the background, just the base. Eh, whatever.

We tried many ways of getting pictures of ourselves. . . okay, not many but a few. This is the best we got. Sadly, this is our first roommate picture - took us only, oh, a semester. . .

This is the money maker shout though, taken by yours truly.

Okay, not really, but whatever. It's us. The tree. We're not picky. We then wandered around the streets of Portland, following a genuine crazy lady for a while. We tried to get a picture but it was too dark and she was too far away. Drats, I know. She was hard core crazy.

We then decided we should go to VooDoo Donuts and get, well, donuts. So we did. Because that's how we roll. I just got a cream filled one, mmm. I took a picture of the lighting fixture in there because it's my favorite. Like, I want to steal it.

We then made our way back to the Max and then proceeded to make our ways back home. Not before we saw numerous beggars of coarse. My favorite had to be the one asking for us for change as has waves a bottle of liquor in one hand. Really? Oh Portland.

Well, that's about it. It really was more fun than it seems, I'm not that great of a blogger. But you know what? If you're still reading thing. . . I like you. You should leave comments =)

These little icons are entertaining...

2007-12-21T17:19:00.001-08:00

I'm bored and I like these icons. . . this is what you get:

I'm rambling...

2007-12-20T20:06:00.000-08:00

You know what I have come to realize? I'm simple. Really, I would much rather sit at home with someone and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich rather than go to a high class restaurant with a 5 course meal. Granted, the second one would probably taste better, but you know what? I don't care. You wouldn't think I was simple by looking at say. . . my room. But I am. You know why? My room is simple. It's things I like. Things that make me happy. If they happen to match then wahoo! If they don't. . . I still like them. Even what I like is simple. It's pretty much everything.

I don't really know why I started talking about this.

Scratch that. I do.

My mom keeps making these weird foods because that's what "normal" moms do; cook elaborate meals and such. But in all reality, I just want cake. Haha. Or Ramen. That sounds kind of good, call me crazy. I don't know. I'm done with the subject though. Meh.

there really is something in the water...

2007-12-19T15:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose it's time for another blog.

So, I'm pretty sure that someone put something in the water at Cascade that makes people get engaged. Or at least get boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't understand it. Yes, I'm happy for them, it's all barftastic. But really...people need to chill out. I start to get scared because everyone around me is hooking up. . . I got nothing.

It's now the fifth day of Christmas break and I have officially done. . . nothing. Saturday I slept and when I awoke I found out that after all the boring mundane breaks someone had finally moved nearby with wireless. Woo! Something else to do besides sleep. Sunday was church. Eh. That's a whole other topic on it's own. Then we went to life group and then we had Christmas numero uno. We went to the place with the spinning steak - home of the 72oz. steak. Barf, anyone? Apparently, if you eat it all, along with practically a whole other meal, you get it for free. It's much harder than they let on, there are a whole bunch of rules to it. But yes, that was fun. Then we proceeded to my aunt and uncle's house for some mingling I guess you could say. My other uncle gave us these cool crosses that he had made and I found out that I am amazing at Wii bowling. Yep. That's about it for Sunday. Monday was rather uneventful until the evening when we were invited to dinner at Kevin Reed's house. Joined with another family from church, we had a lovely evening catching up on. . . life. Tuesday I pretty much did nothing yet again. I did, however, start the daunting task of making the Delta scrapbook. . . from last year. But, while I'm at home doing nothing, I make it a point to have it on the classic rock station so maybe something will soak in. I often find myself Googling songs but nonetheless, some information is being retained. I do this because a)what else is there to do? and b)so I am somewhat prepared when Spencer plays his 'who is it' game where I have to guess the artist. I hate that game.

Alas, that is my break thus far. I had some actual thing I was going to blog about but then it turned into a recap of my life. Meh. What are you going to do about it? That's right, nothing.

I'll leave you with a quote that just won some guy Blazer tickets on the radio,

"Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove"

Because sometimes a song says it better...

2007-12-14T09:24:00.000-08:00

I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I’m so sick of making lists
Of things I’ll never finish
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I’d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you’d think that I would

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way

I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kind of gave up
Winter is killer when the sun goes down
I’m really not as stubborn as I seem
Said the knuckle to the concrete

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way

I’m not saying that I’m giving up
I’m just trying not to think
As much as I used to
Cause never is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I’ll get it right some day
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I’m learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I’ll never get over it
But I’m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I sure want to get back on track
And I’ll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me

"Every day is ugly without you"

2007-12-12T01:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, all you need to cheer you up is a dash of ska. Just saying. So, as it turns out, we are adding another roommate to the mixture next year. It's really looking like it's going to happen. Crazy. I was looking up some classes and such today...there are things I actually want to take. Ah!

But yes, so here I am, sitting in the JC during this here finals week. I'm pretty much done, I have to is listen to some presentations tomorrow, unfortunately, at eight in the morning. Death. This blog really has no point except to throw up some random thoughts that are in my head. So, going back to PCC, one of the thing that caught my eye was that they have this two year interior design program. It's like one of the only ones you can get through a community college. This made me think, "why didn't I come here right away after high school?" And I know what that reason is. The reason is that God was calling me to be as Cascade. I have grown a lot. I have become my own person and stepped out of the shadows I was living in. I had to be me, there was nothing else to hind behind. Guess what? Life didn't end. I gained some amazing friends. Plus, in the midst of that, I found a sisterhood that brought me so close to God.

And now I'm leaving that?

I'm coming back. I promise. My work isn't done here yet. I just need to get re-motivated and rejuvenated. I need to gather the scattered pieces of my life. I will be useless otherwise. I really want to be Delta President. I don't know how to smoothly transition into that, but that is what I want. But not now necessarily. I don't know if I am mentally, spiritually ready for that. Deltas would be the only thing that would keep me here right now, and though I love them to death, it isn't worth the monetary cost. It would be too hard to be engaged in the school aspect which should be the main focus while at...well, school.

That's all I got. For now.

Oh, and my title...it's from a Five Iron Frenzy song. It was playing and I like it. Just so you know.

Well, see....here's the thing.

2007-12-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

Congrats. You get to witness my first real-type blog on a website that isn't myspace. You should be so lucky...

Well, here is it. The life of me...

These past few weeks have been making be question far too much than I care to be doing right now.

When really, I should be finishing my Brian Simmons paper that's due in...oh, less than 3 hours.

I love it here at Cascade, I really do. More so than I ever thought possible. I have made some amazing friends that I will keep with me whether they like it or not. I have found my niche in Deltas and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm just getting involved with ASBC and that has been cool too. I feel like I am finally going somewhere and not just sitting around waiting to be noticed, which I did for far too long. Choir has turned out to be a flop, but that is the least of my worries. I love Cascade. But, academically, it has nothing I want. I have tried to adjust my wants to fit it but in all reality, it doesn't. I can't change the things I like. I just can't.

So I went out with coffee with two friends. As we were talking, a preposition if you will, was proposed. Basically, we would get an apartment (and we looked and found the perfect one) and only one of us would go to Cascade full time next year. It's not me. If this move happened, I would come for a few classes, nothing major though. But if you think about it...it is SOOO much cheaper for me. A community college CLASS -mind you, CLASS- is cheaper than a CREDIT at Cascade. But Heather, you might say, remember you have to pay for utilities and food and such? Well, we did that math too. It's cheaper. Sure we need jobs, but I had one of those, I could do it again. Gah, it would be amazing. I could take things that actually interested me! ! The whole overall goal is to raise out GPAs which then could lead to more money. If I care and had interest in the classes I am positive I could excel in them.

But here is my problem. I want to come back to Cascade. I want to graduate. I do. I need that closure. But I want to be able to pick up where I left off. But I don't think that will be possible. You see, living with a male roommate can't look good. Oh yeah, did I mention that? One of them is male. I know it wouldn't be that sort of an issue. We're friends and if we were anything more I wouldn't put myself in that situation. But I'm afraid of what that will look like. Because if I were to come back I would really like to be in a leadership position with Deltas as well as ASBC. But since Cascade is what it is, I worry they will look down on my for living with a boy. Is that dumb? I know he would say it is, but really. Think of how it looks. And I know it's between us and God but I really don't want that to have an effect on...eligibility I guess you could say?

It's just really hard. I really want this. I'm pretty sure the only thing that is keeping me from jumping in all the way is how people will react. Will they lose any respect they had for me? Will it make me look bad? I hate it. I am so confused. And stressed. And I'm not going to lie, a bit pms-y.

Input would be lovely....really. Anything. Good. Bad. Random....anything.